Tumblr Repost

I look at myself, and I see so many flaws and imperfections. I see the waves in my hair that can never curl, along with the long length of my lashes that do not naturally flip upwards. I see the birthmarks on my cheeks, The uneven size of my lips. The horrible vision of my eyes that need large frames of glasses to see. I also see the palm of my tiny hand holding a pencil, and the only ‘perfect’ thing I can say about this picture IS that pencil. But then I start to think that, I love the waves in my hair because naturally, they DON’T curl. And then I see the length of my lashes and I think about all of the people who told me they wish they had that amount, and I love those too. I see the birthmarks on my cheeks (there are five of them, trust me) and I love them too, because they are a reminder that I was born and that I shouldn’t waste my life wishing I never was. I see the uneven size of my lips, and I love those too, because even though they look a little funny, they also look great in lip gloss. And I see my eyes that are as blind as can be that they need glasses to see, and I love those too, because I remember picking out those frames with mom at the store, and how many people told me they liked them. And finally I see my teeny-tiny hand that resembles a five-year old, and I love it too, because in that teeny-tiny hand is a pencil that I use to write, and writing is what I love the most. I still see the imperfections, but I can’t believe that I spent all that time not seeing everything that inevitably makes me…me.

Self-Harm Post

Being once a victim of self-harm, it is critical to understand that people do everything for a reason. Top reasons on why people commit self harm can range from:

1. difficult relationships with friends or partners
2. difficulties at school, such as not doing well academically
3. difficulties at work
4. being bullied, either at home, school or work
5. worries about money
6. alcohol or drug misuse
7. coming to terms with your sexuality if you think you might be gay or bisexual
8. coping with cultural expectations, for example, an arranged marriage
9. Self-harm could also sometimes be a way of coping with a traumatic experience. For example:
10. sexual, physical or emotional abuse, includingdomestic abuse and rape
11. the death of a close family member or friend

These are just the tip of the iceberg, though. I believe that having a full understanding of why self-harm happens it can not only prevent someone from committing self-harm but can give insight to those who wish to help others that are self-harming, too. 

My story really isn't that different from anyone else's. My self-harm was due to lack of self-confidence, and mostly dwellings on the past (as in, my childhood). My siblings also had some impact on my decisions, but in the end it was always me who decided to take the blade and hurt myself.

And I want you to know that you aren't alone.

I have a tumblr, an email, and if it gets worse, there's always my phone number.

I'm here.


Tumblr: soaringheights.tumblr.com
Email: LindseyCurly@hotmail.com
Phone: Ask!

I Am Me

I’m so afraid to tell others what I know is true.

That being gay is something that I didn't plan or choose.

Although many may think that, it’s time you know you’re wrong,

That being gay is who we are, not someone we become.

However, there are those who are stubborn to the bone

And fight relentlessly on a cause that shouldn't be opposed.

Some say these feelings are natural, and that it isn't wrong,

But that these feelings we seem to have, we should not act upon.

Religion tries to stuff its nose and voice out what it sees,

Saying ‘sin is sin no matter what you all choose to believe.’

And in the end there many who are left without a home,

Or many who give up, and take the life of their own.

So many hurtful comments, bullying and tease,

When we could rather give them happiness and peace.

Be it hate or ignorance, both hurt just the same,

And leave us with a scar that will hurt throughout the days.

We are people who just happen to be different in a way,

It’s not like we can help it—and it’s not like we can change.

…The special people in my life may not understand,

But that’s alright— just as long as they love me in the end.

I haven’t changed who I am, I’m still the same—you see?

The only person I can be is ultimately me.

--M.C.E

A Pointless Post?

The elephant in the room: Homosexuality and Religion.

I'm going to try my hardest to tie the two together, even though many believe that it is impossible, and that you can't have the two in the same equation.

I think it's good to understand religion before you shut it down and believe it's out to get you. Or that Religion doesn't accept homosexuals, along with the idea of homosexuality because it is believed to be a sin. Now, please bear in mind that just because religion says it is a sin, it NEVER said 'God no longer loves you.' That is not at all what it is saying.

Before I start getting all scriptural, please remember that I myself am gay. This isn't a post to slander religion, or to slander homosexuality. I am just giving you the facts on both sides.

Scripture says: 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

No where in that verse does it say God will no longer love you.

And notice that in that verse, it says 'the wicked'. God considers these acts as wicked only if those in that verse do not change their ways. Rapists, criminals, etc. Jesus died on that cross so that forgiveness will be given to anyone who asks for it. If it is wrong, you ask for forgiveness, because God sent his son as the ultimate sacrifice for your sins.

Homosexuals, like myself, KNOW that the love God has for his children will not diminish no matter what sins we commit. However, it by no means say that God will not be angry. God frowns upon homosexuality because He created man and woman for a reason. As any good parent, he wants the ideal life for all of us. He sees it as WRONG because he gave us a specific route to follow. If he did not see it as wrong, why didn't he make everyone gay? Why did he create man and woman, and not man and man? (or vice versa?) 

Now, here is where Religion believes that homosexuality is a choice. Because God gave us a specific route (man and woman), religion believes that anyone who goes against it is doing it out of their own free will. God has no control over anyone--he doesn't make anyone do anything, we do it ourselves. Religion believes that we choose to go against the 'specified route for love', so therefore, homosexuality is a choice. 

That is what religion believes.

Being gay myself, the crazy idea that we CHOOSE to like the same gender is ridiculous. It is NOT a choice--just like it is not a choice that heterosexuals are attracted to the opposite sex. We just seem to feel more attraction towards the same sex than the opposite. That is a fact.

However, when homosexuals chime in and pridefully say it is not a choice, religion tries to find a way to explain it. Now, instead of just simply stating that homosexuality is a sin, like it did before, it says this: "Humans are curious creatures, and they love to experiment. So, if homosexuals seem to find attraction to the same sex, that's okay. Just as long as they don't act upon it. If they do, that is their choice, and therefore they will go to hell."

Now, we DO choose to have a lover, we DO choose to get married, and we DO choose to have children. It doesn't just happen, we choose it. But, religion doesn't understand that saying homosexuals should not act upon their feelings will leave them with the impression that:

Homosexuals cannot have a loving partner,
a family,
marriage,
or equality.

Which is why homosexuals feel rejected, unwanted, and undesired. 

This is another fact.

Now, my opinion on both of these statements?

I believe that God gave us free will. I believe that although we do not control how we feel, we do control what we do about our feelings. If there are homosexuals who are religious, they understand that God is not okay with homosexuality. Does that mean that He does not continue to love us? No. Does He say that he will condemn us and refuse to call us His children? No. It says that He made a route, a specific route, so that it'll be easier on us. If we do not follow it, it is our choice.

I am gay. I like girls. That isn't something I can control. However, I can choose to date a girl, to marry a girl, to have a family with a girl, to die in the arms of my wife. These are my choices, my decisions. God doesn't agree with it, but He loves me just the same. In the end, it is up to you whether you are uncomfortable that God isn't okay with it, or you are just content with knowing that He continues to love you.

It is like a normal parent: they may not understand, or be okay with it, but they love you just the same. God DOES understand, but He isn't okay with it, yet He loves you just the same. Do not feel compelled or forced to like the opposite sex if it makes you uncomfortable.

God loves you. He wants you happy. If YOU believe that having a partner of the same sex will make you happy, then do it. Just remember, God didn't want that for you. But He understands that you are happy, and he loves you.

No matter what.

Phew, that was long. If you have any comments, please feel free to drop it. However, rude and disrespectful comments will be ignored. My opinion is my opinion, so respect it. Thank you.

Music

Dear Experience,

What should I write? What should I say?

What should I give that will make your heart sway?

What could I tell you,

One who has seen it all

A quote, a message? A personal scene of withdrawal?

I’m just a child, with no knowledge to tell

Of the outside world, of my outer shell.

Yet I’ll try my hardest

To make you see

That experience is little

When words are heard to believe.

I have been through moments of FEAR

Family yelling, ‘Stay away!’

I would crawl and hide safely,

Feeling afraid, so afraid.

I have been through moments of SADNESS

That make minds no longer sane

Moments that bring tears and tears,

Echoing the pain.

I have been through moments of ANGER

When fists would fly

Words would crumble to pieces

...I try not to cry.

But the moment I’ve been through

That outshine all the rest

Is the one that has meaning,

That brings out the best.

It is the moment of HAPPINESS

When the sun would shine

Right through the clouds

Gleaming in the sky.

As if yelling, as if screaming,

“I still rise up! Up and Up!

From the horizon, from the ground,

I’ve never once given up!”

So why should you?

If moments bring you down?

Can you listen to me?

For this is all I can tell!

When SADNESS overwhelms you,

And FEAR brings dark

Light can break in

And clean your heart.

It will help you smile

And lift up weight

Like a mighty warrior

In the web of fate.

When ANGER fills you,

And words are no longer enough,

Try something like actions

Man up and hang tough.

My mind might be tiny,

My knowledge quite little,

But I will be strong, my friend,

So yourself don’t belittle!

Do not hesitate, I learned

But think and think

And always remember,

Moments are chains that are linked.

Together they are bounded,

By each and every start

Bring happy moments in your life,

Bring them to your heart.

That is what I have learned,

That is all I can say,

I give thanks to Experience,

Who paved the way.

♥~

-M.C.E

I'm here

Go ahead,

Mask away your fears

Pretend they are fading,

Pretend they aren’t there.

You’re different, you are

Although you disagree,

Why can’t you understand?

Why can’t you see?

How beautiful you are,

How precious to me,

How lovely and perfect

You are completely.

What happened to you?

Don’t run or hide!

Are you hiding somewhere?

Some place I can’t find?

Are you inside your heart?

Shackled and wrapped,

With pain and hurt,

With chains attached?

No matter what,

I swear to you

I’ll find you somehow,

I’ll find the truth.

I’ll dig deeper and deeper

Until the search is found

Until I can free you

Of the game you are bound.

My precious, my sweet

There’s no need to hide.

I’m here,

I’m here,

I’m by your side.


-M.C.E

Independence: History Poem

Independence of Men

In the view of a soldier

Liberty, Liberty!

How precious she must be

How her significance brings war,

Sacrifice and

Defeat

I watch as one by one,

Bodies of men face the ground,

Rows of dominos,

Fighting as one against the crown

The Regulars do not tire;

We, however, are not weak!

Justice will prevail to help

All who refuse to turn their cheek!

Our fight is not to have comfort

From supporters of the throne,

Our fight is to prepare the men

Whom we have all chose!

Trained and ready in a minute,

Trained and ready to commence,

What was once a dream of many?

Has a highly paid expense!

As we fight in this war,

See that freedom is the key;

To break out of this grip

Held together by the king!

As the Declaration states,

I will say it as it is:

“Our rights are Life,

Liberty and pursuit of happiness!”

Our soldiers, our people!

Know that freedom has a fee!

But this war will be fought—

—I swear,

In the name of Liberty!

 -M.C.E